Maya Pope-Chappell

Because of another journalistic opportunity, I will no longer be contributing to the Family Life Behind Bars website.  However, as I bid farewell, I’ve gained experiences that will I’ll carry with me into my next endeavor.

Besides assisting Sandeep with maintaining the website, the experience that stands out the most is my position as the web radio host.  In this role, I was able to interview those that have been directly affected by incarceration: from a father sentenced to 15 years under the Rockefeller Drug Laws, to a grandmother who was paying hundreds of dollars in collect call fees.  As someone who has also had both family members and friends behind bars, their stories not only resonated with the listeners who tuned in, but with me personally.

I wish the website much success in it’s mission and continued commitment to bringing these stories to the forefront.

Related Posts:

Listen Now: Losing your paycheck to collect call fees?

Listen Now: Documentary filmmaker- Children of incarcerated parents speak

Listen Now: Financial advice for families and the formerly incarcerated

Suzette with her ex-husband

(Suzette Soltero wrote the following poem while visiting her ex-husband who is serving 28 years. He  has completed 18 so far):

The trip is dreadful, lots of trees pretty houses and women with children in a van going to visit loved ones that have been away in “confined quarters.”

Long roads with minimal lights & cars while still dark outside everyone trying to make themselves comfortable trying to sleep until their arrival and the driver calls out the facility’s name.

Writing information on a piece of paper, informing who you are.

Lockers holding belongings that aren’t permitted while you walk thru scanners hoping you don’t ring.

Florecent number stamping on the right hand slamming heavy doors bob-wires tall walls blue uniforms w/badges some w/hard faces others more relaxed greet you.

Escorted walks assigned seats & bells ringing while grown men in green come out the designated door giving a quick hello while they walk to check in.

Hugs, kisses, hand shakes, pounds, happy eyes, big smiles change for the vending machines singles for pics which capture the days visit five hours of conversation, memories, hopes & dreams children crying, playing happiness sadness – emotions, feelings all trapped in the visit room guarded by those blue uniforms w/badges as they look at every movement that is done.

The clock ticks & times flies & the moment to depart approaches like a thief in the night.

Emptiness fills the room as everyone prepares for that moment.  Children pull their daddy’s crying saying “let’s go” for they don’t understand.  Mothers, wives, girlfriends, significant others try to be strong as they say goodbye not to make the men in the green feel worse but emptiness fills the room.

A too familiar feeling as those heavy doors open & close behind you you feel as half your soul in left and entwined with the bob-wires handing the paper back getting your belongings & boarding the van again to see those long roads with minimal lights & a few more cars filling the highway.

All you remember is the smile try to rewind the moment you spend as you look at the picture breathing it all in until you feel it in your heart closing your eyes thinking, wondering what does the man in green feel right at that very moment.

Maybe one day your soul will be untwined & you will feel whole again but for now all you have to look forward too is “THE VISIT!”

Inspired by your experiences or by the poetry on this site? Interested in sharing it with others in your situation? Please fill out this form ]]> http://prison.livesinfocus.org/2010/02/22/poem-inspired-from-visiting-prison/feed/ 6 http://prison.livesinfocus.org/2010/02/12/site-living-as-a-spouse-of-an-inmate/ http://prison.livesinfocus.org/2010/02/12/site-living-as-a-spouse-of-an-inmate/#comments Fri, 12 Feb 2010 15:59:22 +0000 Sandeep Junnarkar http://livesinfocus.org/prison/?p=1467

Illustrative purpose only

I just came across a terrific site that provides an “intimate look at my new life as a spouse of an inmate.”

The site is called “Living as a spouse of an inmate.”

The author, who goes by the name K St. John, writes that she shares her feelings of living everyday as a single parent while her spouse is in prison.

Hope you have a chance to find inspiration from her thoughts and words.

Dr. Harland Kessaris

We recently sat down with Dr. Harland Kessaris to talk about how to cope with the absence of a loved one during the holiday season and other questions asked by you. As a psychologist who specializes in re-entry of incarcerated individuals back into family and society, he was able to provide some insight into handling this potentially alienating time of year.

Dr. Kessaris stressed the importance of open communication between children, the incarcerated, and those caring for the children, “As much as you can you should include them [the incarcerated],” said Kessaris. “I think people need to be reminded, encouraged, and assisted in doing that.” For Kessari, the key is to make a sincere effort to connect personally.

Here are some tips from Dr. Kessaris:

Link to mp3

Link to mp3

Link to mp3

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS: What tips do you have for coping with this period?

[Use the comments feature below or call (646)-867-1891 to leave an audio message.]

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Psychologist to answer your questions on coping with Holiday Season separation

Tiffani N. Garlic attends the CUNY Graduate School of Journalism. She is a print student with a concentration on urban reporting. She graduates December 2008. Her work can be viewed on sheilaj.wordpress.com.