Family visit to prison.

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Family Life Behind Bars and Prison Wives Girlfriends and Partners are launching a collaborative effort to reveal how incarceration affects personal relationships. This is the first of our monthly surveys to explore different aspects of how people cope with the separation emotionally, socially and financially. Some of the surveys will be lighter while others will take on more upsetting topics.

Our first survey:

When you have a big moment ahead, something you’ve been fretfully awaiting, you rehearse that second over and over in your mind.

When it finally arrives, the reality is that we often react in a way we never anticipated.

Here’s a moment you all can relate to: the moment your loved one finally walks into the house after a prison term.

What’s the first thing you will say to your loved one the moment he or she returns home after prison?

This survey will remain open until Nov. 15, 2011. We’ll then share the results with you in a way to better visualize people’s “First words.”

[See results here. No results? Then be the first to share what you will say.]

No results? Then be the first to share what you will say!

A vigil for death row inmate Troy Davis in front of the White House on the eve of his execution. (photo credit: AP)

At 11:08 on September 21, 2011 Troy Davis was executed by the state of Georgia. Despite the retraction of testimony by multiple witnesses and the possibility of new evidence proving his innocence, the state took his life. The fragility of this case is made more apparent in the context of two other death row cases, that of David Crowe and Lawrence Brewer, and calls into question the very tradition of capital punishment.

At the the time of his death people took to the Internet, voicing dissent against the Supreme Court’s decision to not stay the execution and the Georgia court’s ruling to take a life:
 

Willis Arnold is a multimedia journalist, Brooklyn resident, and student at the CUNY School of Journalism.

Kim waiting for a call from Cody, who is incarcerated in a Texas prison. With permission, he can make an international call to Kim for five minutes every 90 days.

What a difference a border makes.

My name is Kim and I live in Ontario, Canada and my husband is incarcerated in Texas. The Texas Department of Criminal Justice, for whatever reason, allows inmates with family living outside of the U.S. just one five-minute call every 90 days. But even for that, you need special permission.

Those inmates with family living in the United States are allowed 240 minutes per month which may soon increase to 480 minutes a month. I have to do with five minutes.

Just how much can you cram into a five-minute conversation with a loved one you haven’t heard from in months? If it is the only time you get, you take what you’re given.

I received a call in May at five in the morning. It was a caller I was not expecting to hear—my husband.

“Hey Baby,” he said.

When I heard his voice, I just started to cry. I hadn’t heard his voice in so long that I actually had to ask if it was him.

Those five minutes felt like a few seconds that flew by so fast.

Our conversation amounted to just simple things: How are the girls? How are you? I love you…but after four minutes, I was reminded of the ticking clock.

“Well, we only have one minute left so if there is anything you want to tell me you had better tell me now,” he said.

“I love you,” is all I could say through my tears and crackly voice.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“Yes, I just miss you.”

“I miss you too and I love you and I’ll call you again in 3 months,” he said.

Unfortunately those were the last words I heard my husband say to me.

Extradited across the border

I met Cody, my 38-year-old husband, two years ago when he came to Canada on vacation. Cody, an American citizen, was a friend of my brother’s who asked to stay at my house for a few days.

We fell in love, but unfortunately trouble was not far off. Because Cody did not report to his probation officer in Texas, the authorities came looking for him and he ended up in a Canadian jail.

At first, I would wake up every Sunday at 6:00 am to drive to the detention centre where he was being held. I waited in line for 2 hours for the 9:00 am visits.

Those visits—separated by glass—lasted about 20 minutes.

Then he was deported from Canada and moved to a New York state prison. At first I had no idea where he was. I finally got a call from him and we talked every day for 15 minutes.

I also drove about 90 minutes to visit him every other weekend. These visits were an hour long and we were allowed to be physically next to each other–no glass separated us. Just the type of visit any spouse hopes for.

But once again, trouble was heading our way. He was extradited to Texas and that is when I found out that the Texas Department of Criminal Justice does not allow calls outside the U.S.

Now he’s 3,000 miles away and I can’t talk to him and I can’t visit because of the distance and the expense.

I promised him that I would not only write every single day but that I would move to Texas. I haven’t missed one day of writing (neither has he) in nearly a year, but it’s a struggle finding a good job so I can move my family to Texas.

Cody has to put in a request to the Warden asking to make a single five-minute call every 90 days. He must have a clean record inside and have made no trouble. He does exactly what is expected of him and more. During his time in TDCJ, he hasn’t even been written up for a minor case. He was recently promoted to trustee level.

Waiting for the next call

I have yet to hear from him after the last call when he told me he’d talk to me again in three months. It turns out that he was moved to a medical unit from where calls are not allowed at all.

Cody has a herniated disc in his neck and he has lost the use of this right arm and hand yet he still manages to write every day. He will, no doubt, need surgery and I can’t even talk to him about it. That makes things all the more difficult for me.

Once he is transferred to a new unit, in all likelihood, we will have to wait another 90 days to see if that unit’s warden will let him call home.  There are no guarantees.

Five minutes may seem like nothing to most people, but I would give anything to get a precious five minute call every 3 months just to hear my husband tell me that he loves me and that he’s okay.

(Kim, 42, is the mother of two daughters struggling to stay in touch with her husband.)

Share your Experience:

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If you are on food stamps and lost food during the storm (due to power
outage, flooding, etc.) you can have that food replaced. You must file
a “replacement food stamp benefit” form within 10 days.

You can get help filing this form by:

Calling HRA or your food stamp office
Calling 311
Contacting the Food Bank of NYC at (212) 586-7855

Having proof of a problem is helpful but not required. For example, it
can be helpful to have a letter from the landlord stating that you had
flooding or power outage or from Con Ed saying that the power went out.
Folks in the Bronx, Jamaica and Staten Island who were affected by the
storm should especially know about this.

The food stamp program is a federal benefit, so if you know people in NJ
(or anywhere else) they can get a a food stamp reimbursement too by
contacting their local food stamp office in their state.

Important note for the future: This food stamp reimbursement is not
just limited to this storm. At any point in time, if you are on food
stamps and lose food because of some “misfortune” such as flooding,
refrigerator damage, evacuation or because you had not access to your
home and food went bad, you can apply for replacement food stamp
benefits.

Please share with your networks ASAP. You have to apply within 10 days
of the “misfortune”.

UPDATE: Listen to the recorded program here.

Hour Friend In Deed, a program that connects mentors with children who have an incarcerated parent, is on the verge of losing its financial support.

For the past five years, the program has helped children with a parent (or both parents) in prison develop positive behavior and personal identities by pairing them with mentors. While these meaningful relationships helped the kids navigate through tough times and gave them some of the social skills and confidence, the program’s funding is a victim of the punishing economic downturn. Mentoring Children of Prisoners, a program run by the Federal Administration for Children and Families, will pull its support on September 29, 2011.

Join us live on Family Life Behind Bars Radio as we speak to 15-year-old Jeremy Hosey and his mentor of the past year Ted Sangalis about how the program has benefited both of them. We’ll also speak to Jeremy’s mother, 37-year-old Joedy Aliseo about how this mentoring relationship brought stability into her and her son’s life. We’ll ask 28-year-old Ted how he found the time to mentor while studying law at Fordham University.

Kellie Phelan, the program coordinator, will also join us to discuss the next step for the program as its funding runs dry.

Join us and share your experiences as a mentee or mentor.

• Show Date: August 4

• Time: 7:00-7:30 p.m. ET
  

• To listen Live: call (626) 414-3521

• Skype in: Click on Skype symbol next to the phone number on the show page.

• To ask a question, press #1 on your dial

• Leave your thoughts and questions in the comments section below.

UPDATE: Listen to a recording of this segment by clicking on the embedded player below:

Join us live to speak with Reesy Floyd-Thompson who will be discussing her new publication “Separated by Prison, United by Conviction Journal.”

The journal has over 250 simple yet thought-provoking questions, quotes and scenarios to help couples in keeping their families together despite incarceration.

Share your experiences with one of the leading relationship coaches who specializes in couples separate because of incarceration.

Ms. Floyd-Thompson is the founder and president of Prisoners’ Wvies, Girlfriends and Partners (www.pwgp.org).

Join in LIVE as Family Life Behind Bars Radio interviews Ms. Floyd-Thompson, on July 28 @ 7:00  p.m. Eastern Time.

• Show Date: July 28

• Time: 7:00-7:30 p.m. ET
  

• To listen Live: call (626) 414-3521

• Skype in: Click on Skype symbol next to the phone number on the show page.

• To ask a question, press #1 on your dial

• Leave your thoughts and questions in the comments section below.

The director of Women Behind Bars, Amina Benalioulhaj, prepares the camera for a shoot in an Oklahoma prison. To her is an incarcerated mother and her visiting children. (Photo Credit: Sarah Warmker)

UPDATE: Listen to a recording of the show by clicking on the embedded player below:

Oklahoma’s crime rate ranks 17th nationally, about on par with the country’s average. But the state has the dubious distinction of being No. 1 for female incarceration per capita in the United States.

It’s not that Oklahoma’s women are hardened criminals. Rather, nearly 70 percent are non-violent offenders. They’ve found themselves behind bars at Oklahoma’s Correctional Facilities mostly because of drug abuse, drug dealing and prostitution (to support their habits).

A new documentary, Women Behind Bars, takes viewers inside these prisons to meet the women who are struggling with untreated addictions and other ignored issues. And there really are so many of them. The female incarceration rate in Oklahoma stands at 134 per 100,000, which is more than twice the national average of 60 per 100,000. Many of the women we meet are the heads of single parent led households, struggling to keep their houses in order despite being behind bars.

Join in LIVE as Family Life Behind Bars Radio interviews the documentary’s director, Amina Benalioulhaj, on June 29 @ 12:30 p.m. Eastern Time.

• Show Date: Wednesday, June 29

• Time: 1:30-2:00 p.m. ET
  

• To listen Live: call (626) 414-3521

• Skype in: Click on Skype symbol next to the phone number on the show page.

• To ask a question, press #1 on your dial

• Leave your thoughts and questions in the comments section below.

The Associated Press (used with permission)

Family Life Behind Bars Radio spoke with Greg Cohen of Cause Effective, a group that advices non-profits on fundraising and fiscal planning. The discussion focused on helping small organizations that provide services to people with a loved one in prison.

Cohen agreed that groups that deal with criminal justice issues or help families with a loved one in prison have never been high priority for most foundations or government programs. The prospects of finding support and funding during these tough economic times is “pretty much near the bottom” for such organizations. Still he had many invaluable tips on surviving the economic downturn and its impact on nonprofits and groups that provide social services.

Here’s a list of just a few of the tips Cohen provided on keeping your nonprofits or one-person organizations and their programs healthy. Listen to the embedded audio segment for more details.

• Don’t start off fundraising, “friend-raise” instead: Showcase your organization and its work to people who might take interest and at some point begin to support it.

• Careful taking government funding: There are so many bureaucratic requirements that you could find yourself spending more time writing reports than running your programs.

• Find an “official” supporter: If you are considering seeking government funding, find a city council member or local official who is supportive of your cause to guide you through the funding maze and lobby on your behalf.

For more details  on these and other tips, listen to the embed below: