Tips for handling separation during the holiday season

Tiffani Garlic — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 05:01:13 +0000

Dr. Harland Kessaris

The holidays are traditionally a time for families to be together. That message is in the songs, the movies, and even displayed in storefront windows. What happens when your family is separated by more than distance but by the physical and psychological barriers imposed by incarceration? How then do you cope with the holidays?

We recently sat down with Dr. Harland Kessaris to talk about how to cope with the absence of a loved one during the holiday season and other questions asked by you. As a psychologist who specializes in re-entry of incarcerated individuals back into family and society, he was able to provide some insight into handling this potentially alienating time of year.

Dr. Kessaris stressed the importance of open communication between children, the incarcerated, and those caring for the children, “As much as you can you should include them [the incarcerated],” said Kessaris. “I think people need to be reminded, encouraged, and assisted in doing that.” For Kessari, the key is to make a sincere effort to connect personally.

Here are some tips from Dr. Kessaris:

1. The best time to talk to children of the incarcerated about the holidays:

Link to mp3

2. How families of the incarcerated can include their loved ones during the holidays:

Link to mp3

3. How caregivers can help children of the incarcerated cope during the holidays:

Link to mp3

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS: What tips do you have for coping with this period?

[Use the comments feature below or call (646)-867-1891 to leave an audio message.]

Tiffani N. Garlic attends the CUNY Graduate School of Journalism. She is a print student with a concentration on urban reporting. She graduates December 2008. Her work can be viewed on sheilaj.wordpress.com.

UPDATE: Psychologist to answer your questions on coping with Holiday Season separation

Tiffani Garlic — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 23:15:30 +0000

Palestinians wait to cross the Israeli army's Jalamy checkpoint to visit relatives held in Israeli jails near the West Bank city of Jenin, on the first day of the Muslim holiday of Eid al-Adha,

[This interviewed was rescheduled for Monday, Nov. 10. You may submit your questions through Nov. 9.]

The holiday season is meant to be a time for joy and celebration. But for many, it is difficult period when their separation from an incarcerated family member is magnified because of the relentless message that this is a time for families to be together.

Often people do not know where to turn to learn how to cope with this period. What do you tell your children when they are sad that their parent is not there? Do you engage them in this conversation or not? Who can you turn to? How do you express what you are feeling to your spouse or children? What is the best way for children to handle this period?

To answer some of those questions, I have arranged an interview with Dr. Harland Kessaris, a psychologist who specializes in helping families adjust to life when a member is in prison.

You have an opportunity to ask Dr. Kessaris your own questions to him. I’d like to hear from you – what questions do you want to ask Dr. Kessaris?

Submit them before Nov. 6 Nov. 9 and I’ll include them in the interview on Friday, Nov. 7 Monday, Nov. 10. You’ll be able to see the answers when we post the article on Monday Wednesday, Nov. 12.

You have three options:

Post a question in the comments section below,
Send an email to questions@livesinfocus.org,
Call (646) 867-1891 to leave a message.

Family Life Behind Bars » holiday season

Tips for handling separation during the holiday season

UPDATE: Psychologist to answer your questions on coping with Holiday Season separation